Blurry Splotches Of Light

There are times I feel more like the old than the young
I've spent days in my room just putting teeth in my tongue
My mouth is a hole and my pockets are lint
Don't ask me for dinner, my money's all spent
I can give it all up, I can take what I get
Because everyone knows the way

The way to sell yourself into the system is just
An admission of guilt:
I'm a human, I lust
After freedom
Dear god and dear government,
Save me from myself

I've caught myself thinking these last couple days
About the way I was built versus the way I was raised
I'm sticking hair in my face as an excuse to shave
Cos that's all I ever want

I'm reading your books and I'm putting some notes
Into margins I just feel these words in my throat
I'll announce a flood and I'll build them a boat
And I'll sink it in the middle of the sea

I'd love to sit beside you on our way through the world
And you'd know me as Boy and I'd just call you Girl
Because that is all we need in this oyster: a pearl
A name we do not have

The way to name your kids after flowers is fine
An American theme
Oh sweet orchards of mine
I'm eating all your apples til I know it's the time
To burn you to the ground

They've made me a cynic, they've filled me with dirt
But I dust myself off, and I take off my shirt
And no I'm not sure about how all of this works
But I'm willing to learn

In the back seat of a car that reeks of fake pine
I've opened my hand and you're counting the lines
Instead of a diamond I'll just dig you a mine
That's what what you're taught to want

And the only world they know has been filtered through tubes
They live on the couch, and they sleep through the news
And the only drive they take is straight through, for their food
Cross themselves before they eat

I take off my glasses and I find I can see
The blurry splotches of light are the true parts to me
I'd give my whole body if I thought I could be
Anything at all